Contextually fine

Just over a year ago, I was in holiday in Tasmania with my beloved and besties, and pretty bloody happy about it. 

It was early September 2023 and I was hanging and chatting with one of my pals in an outdoor hot-tub another had coaxed into warmth with a smokey wood fire. I felt safe and peaceful and surrounded by love. There may have been wine.

We were talking about my poetry book, which had been out in the world a few months. My spa buddy asked, given my creative practice had taken place almost exclusively online for over a decade, how I had fared with the more dangerous sides of digital space – trolling, censorship or other forms of abuse.

At the time, I replied, aside from the everyday misogynies of being a woman in the world (including the digital one), I had actually been extraordinary lucky – undoubtedly due to my whiteness and privilege. Other than run-of-the-mill sexism or the odd Invasion Day retort, the trolling I’d experienced was mostly people telling me my poems didn’t rhyme.

A few weeks later, that all changed, when I started a series of posts advocating for a ‘yes’ vote to the Voice referendum. A few weeks after that, I made my first post about Palestine (republished again here) – and my 15+ years of relative safely online was officially and irrevocably over.

Floods of negative comments, name-calling, personal slurs and bad faith arguments from peers and anonymous online trolls, and even critiques of my decision to unfollow those not advocating on social media. With Palestine, of course, this behaviour also moved offline, including getting shirt-fronted at writing workshops for showcasing Arab poets, scolded by strangers for wearing a keffiyeh or Palestinian flag, or directly lobbied after being named in a now-infamous WhatsUp group for my work on Palestine as a governance issue).

Yet through all this, I have still been protected by my privilege. First Nations people, Arab-Australians and people of colour in general have been disproportionately targeted on- and off-line. This isn’t about me. It never was. This last awful year has also provided a masterclass in international law and human rights abuses (including those we in Australia support – with our tax dollars or with our silence).

Because of that privilege, and because awareness begets awareness, a year ago I also didn’t know much about Sudan or The Congo, Tigray or Myanmar, West Papua or Kanaky/New Caledonia, or any of the other global horrors that have preoccupied our heads and hearts over the last 12 months. Since then, things have also got worse for people in Lebanon, Yemen and Syria, Afghanistan and Ukraine, as well as women, children, First Nations, LGBTQIA+ and disabled people, refugees, students, protesters and even shoppers here in Australia (and more).

Those naive and peaceful hot-tub times seem like a very long time ago. Since then, the best I’ve been able to get to has been ‘contextually fine’. Though, given everything going on in the world, I’m actually contextually fucking amazing – in spite of almost-daily grief and disbelief, and almost-unprecedented exhaustion.

I can’t remember when I’ve been more aware of my privilege or safety, or another time in my life when I’ve thought of them every single day. Even in the midst of moving house, because of the privilege of moving from one safe place to another. Even when sick with Covid (again), because of the privilege of being sick in secure housing, with access to good food and medicine, and with someone to care for me. Even when grieving the loss of a friend, at a time when so many are grieving entire families, entire bloodlines.

I also can’t remember being more aware of the responsibility that comes with that privilege. Sending postcards, esims or making donations costs very little to make a big difference. Boycotting, contacting our government reps or superannuation providers, or attending protests are free and easy ways to help through the helplessness every day – and surely, the least we can do.

Further reading: Palestine as a governance issue

You can check out all of the articles and resources in this series, which include:

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Author: katelarsenkeys

Writer. Rabble-rouser. Arts, Cultural and Non-Profit Consultant.